Because of the faulty PA (Public Address system, not Phil Lotan) and the regrettably unfaulty band, many people, including me, were unable to hear the tribute to Marlies and myself from our two daughters, Naomi and Antonia at Saturday’s reception. Those out of earshot could only guess the cause of the gales of laughter from those who could hear when a recognisable shot got home. As a result, I have been asked to include their speech in my blog. So here it is - uncensored.
ANTONIA
When Dad volunteered us for the task of making a speech, he said “say something nice”.
Five minutes later, after the stunned silence was over, we started to wonder what you could say about a couple who had managed to stay married for 40 years.
Dad has a fondly held theory: the more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage – so it shouldn’t be a surprise that, 40 years after getting hitched at Kensington registry office and celebrating with a meal in a Chinese restaurant – mum looking rather fetching in a home-made blue and white polka-dot minidress - they are still together.
Like all couples, they have had their arguments (many of them in the car when mum was trying navigate), but to us they always presented a united front: any difficult questions being met with ‘ask your father’ by mum and ‘ask your mother’ from dad. According to Mum, the closest they ever got to divorce was when she worked for Dad in the early days of BoS – a sentiment that many of the paper’s past editors will feel some sympathy with.
Even when she no longer worked for dad directly, mum maintained a vital supporting role in BoS, the business that has occupied much of the past 40 years and that feels to us like a third sibling. In the earlier days of the business, I recall that holidays were often spent prising him out of phone-boxes – because obviously, the paper would collapse if he couldn’t issue orders from Majorca. Not surprisingly, he was a fairly early owner of a mobile phone, generally to be found in the footwell of the car with a flat battery. Ah, not much has changed…
NAOMI
Mum got her own back on dad for being chained to the office even when he was on holiday by taking him to visit her family in Germany. Dad doesn’t speak German. Try, if you can, to imagine him virtually silent for days in a row. Difficult isn’t it? He took a succession of dogs for long walks – losing the dog on one memorable occasion. Those of you familiar with his ever-disappearing mobile phones won’t be surprised.
Mum hasn’t grasped mobile phones either, though I hope we have finally cured her of the habit of keeping her mobile phone in her handbag at all times – turned off, so the battery doesn’t run down. Computers too can be something of a mystery, give or take her addiction to Freecell, but give this woman a drill, a saw, a screwdriver or pretty much anything in B&Q and she knows exactly what she’s doing.
The house on The Embankment was bought from a couple in their sixties who had been living there with two parents: the amount of work that needed to be done was massive, and, as a young couple with a big mortgage, mum did most of it. One day I came home from school to find that she had spent the day ripping out ancient gas fires and had found a whole Victorian oven range behind one. I never asked – were you Corgi registered Mum?
Over the last few years, of course, BoS has left the family and Dad has been the elected mayor of Bedford. As he acknowledged when first elected, his decision to stand was not popular with Mum, who would have preferred to spend retirement going on long adventurous holidays rather than at official functions. Nevertheless, she has supported him – even to the extent of tolerating a second term - and I think it is a testament to their marriage that they have managed to steer their way through the last few years, carrying out roles that are often stressful and time-consuming – irrespective of your views on elected mayors and this one in particular.
They have stuck together through thick and thin – possibly fat and thin, in Dad’s case – and we hope that we’ll be here in 20 years’ time to toast their diamond wedding. In the meantime, we’ll have to make do with rubies.
To all our German friends & relatives wir wollten unserer Eltern auf ihre vierzig jaehrige ehe gratuliern, wir bedanken uns das sie so geduldich durch diese rede still gebleiben haben – es war nur eine ganz kurze zusammenfassung uber ihre leben zusamm – und jetzt – trinken wir
[Toast - to Frank and Marlies].